catchthewave's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- live through this, and you won't look back. i figure it's time to write again. it's been so long. i was planning to write this all in a handwritten diary, but my thoughts move through my mind too fast. i wouldn't be able to get it all down. first and foremost, i miss him. but i've concluded that is natural; someone who has been in my life for nearly two years is not going to leave my mind peacefully. sometimes i think i'm just lonely, but i don't think thats it. i'm sure that has to do with the intensity of the feelings, but i honestly think we were good for eachother in a lot of ways, and i don't think that's easy to come by. the lack of experience way the fall of it, i'm almost positive. neither of us knew how to deal with eachother, and that is only something you'll learn from experience. i need to be alone for a while. i need to prove to myself that i can be a normal, functional, happy person again. i need to make friends again. and i will do it. i know i will. it's just so hard, because there is no one here. i live in a small lonely city. going to san diego made me realize this: there are different things out there. i will move somewhere else eventually. i guess i just need to finish what i'm doing here, i need to tie everything up. i need to finish my schooling, and i need to grow up and learn a lot of things before i can go out on my own. i just hope this year passes smooth enough and soon i'll be on my way... 10:20 p.m. - 2007-01-30 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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