catchthewave's Diaryland Diary

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when there's nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire.

my emotions are so mixed.

i want to give in, and i want to just love you again. but a huge part of me is telling me, "NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!" and when it's screaming that loud i can't help but listen to it.

last night looking in your eyes filled me with such an unbearable guilt. i know i'm hurting you and i hate it so much. i hate to hurt you because i care about you, but i care about me too. who comes first? me or you?
some days i think it's me, and other days i think it's you.

i can't even imagine how you'd look at me knowing what i've done. knowing what i've done with him. it makes me want to throw up. i feel so dirty, so useless.

i don't want you to know. and i know deep down that if we ever decide to give it another chance, you'll have to know.

i hate this.

9:34 p.m. - 2007-02-19

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